What does one say to sum up a total of 365 days from the start to end of a year? How does one sum up one's self and one's behavior during that year? Is it done through accomplishments? Is it done through family's perceptions? Is it done through friends' perceptions? I would be inclined to say it's done through our own perception of ourselves and what we've learned in that 365 days that we didn't know the previous year.
I can only use my own experience since that's all I know.
So, as for me ... what have I learned this year? I've learned that although family is dear and relationships are rewarding, you have to be true to yourself. You must decide what it is you want, and lead the kind of life you want and where you want. Now this isn't something new I've learned, it's just something that has surfaced again ... it had slipped through the cracks a bit, for awhile. I lost myself in my family, only to be reminded this year that there's a reason distance makes the heart grow fonder.
As a mother, I have been reminded this year that my offspring are independent, have their own partners to love and care for and vice versa. And although they are my "children", they need to be distanced from parents while forging ahead and finding their own way on the paths through life. It isn't time yet to be living near their mother. I had forgotten that and had expected too much, too soon. I remember how it was with my own parents when I was my children's ages, in my 40s. My parents were definitely not my focus, I was living life to the fullest. I'd visit them on most holidays and sometimes a time or two or three in between. But that was it. And no one loves their parents more than I do.
So, this past year I've learned that I might need someone else in my life. Before 2010 is over, I truly believe I will meet that someone, or perhaps I already know him. I'm open to it and admit it, finally, so it will happen. Seventy is not too old to fall in love again.
I have learned this past year that I don't have to stay in Arizona. It all depends on what happens over the next six months with business and personal relationships. It depends on what becomes available to me. My friend Linda is moving in with me next month, so things may develop from there. She's mobile, too. We may head west.
Which reminds me ... this past year I reconnected with two of my best friends - Linda (Lindstrom) Hainline and Barbara McKee. We've known each other since the late '70s: Linda when we met working at the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo CA, and Babs when we met working at the county courthouse in SLO. We've been in and out of each others' lives ever since. Love them both. They both came here this year, and I took a trip to Austin TX to also visit Linda.
As for my spiritual being, I feel I'm progressing ... I am forever seeking and reading, learning more and more about myself and understanding others. That last part is the hardest - understanding others. Boy is it ever! I struggle with that one all the time. So, focus should be in that department this coming year.
I've learned this past year that I still have critical changes to make with my finances. That is a major concern. The old saying ... insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, change is necessary!
All in all ... the past year has been a happy one for me. I published my fifth book (third novel) this year. In addition I published five other books for authors. I've increased the Internet presence and distribution for my business (R. J. Buckley Publishing) and myself, have marketed more. I spent New Year's Eve in Brussels, Belgium, then in April attended the IBPA (publishers) unniversity in New York City (my friend Babs went with me, I met her cousins over a New York dinner - fabulous!).
So, now is the time to reflect more and then move forward beginning the first day of 2010.
Another decade gone by the wayside, guys!
Here's a toast to you and yours! May you have a glorious 2010!