No truer words were spoken, and William Shakespeare said them . . .
"Love all, trust a few."
My topic was inspired by a conversation I had earlier today about trust - giving it and receiving it. Now I don't have an ax to grind here, not at all, I've only myself to account for and I'm happy with that. But the experiences I've had over the years with others has run the gamut, good and bad, fulfilling and disappointing, trusting and mistrustful. We've all been there done that.
In business relationships, most times there is a paper trail to follow, a history for us to check. So we need to do our research before getting involved in any business deals.
In personal relationships, there is a history too, and sometimes a paper trail, so the trick is to learn the truth early on and learn to recognize all the tell-tale signs, they're there. A man or woman doesn't suddenly become dishonest and untrustworthy over night. It's part of the psyche, his/her nature. He can try to be clever and hide the fact, but most are not that clever.
First impressions ... when we meet someone and we immediately react to something that gives us doubts or fear, even an inkling, it's very simple, don't even go there! It isn't worth it, and you cannot change a person contrary to what you think. You can only change yourself. But what happens when you meet someone who is vivacious and has a personality plus, is good looking, and you're attracted to that person? Well, that's all well and good. It's a possibility. Check it out.
Second impressions ... okay, so we're past the first impression. Now we have to go to the next stage, do our homework and ask ourselves what kind of character is this? What are his/her habits, good and bad. Watch and listen, it's pretty easy to ascertain if your eyes and ears are open. Does he laugh too loud for your taste, giggle too much, talk too much, look away not making eye contact enough? Bite her nails, is fidgety? Is he/she watching the opposite sex as they walk by, eyeing them? Is he/she rude to wait staff? To other service people? To animals? Children? There are a multitude of things to pay attention to if you are seriously interested in going to the next step with a potential mate. Needn't rush, you have all the time in the world to make sure you know that person inside and out before you commit. And at the first sign of something unacceptable, get out! Now! Before it goes any further.
In most cases, if a guy/gal has a serious problem that isn't addressed, it'll only get worse as time goes on. Meaning ... being argumentative, controlling, verbally abusive, disrespectful, physically abusive, sexually abusive, alcoholic, not able to keep a job, doesn't have a job, hates both or one of his/her parents, participates in criminal acts, has addictions, blames everybody else for his/her woes and plight, and much much more ... I'm sure you can think of more. Anyway, you know what I mean. You can capture a glimpse of these traits and negative behavior if you pay attention. Yes, you can.
But let's get back to being able to trust people in general. You can trust them until you feel you can't. Simple as that. If you have misgivings, then you can't trust, suspicions kill trust, it replaces it. Maybe it's intuition or whatever, if you feel uncomfortable about something, call it a day. It'll never be any better for you, once suspicions take hold.
There's also the outside chance that something in your own life, during your childhood, your younger years, has created this internal-eternal trait of suspicion, fear of believing. Search it out, be sure that isn't the case, but if it is, correct it, because if you don't, you'll never trust anybody, even those who are trustworthy.
I love this one ...
That's it for tonite, now I'm going to relax ...