I wonder what makes some reminisce and think of friendships past, and then others don't give their pasts a single thought. Of late I've had many memories of old friends float to the surface, friends who I haven't seen or spoken to in years, friends who I haven't a clue if they're still alive or not. It creates a nostalgic mood within me, half good, half not.
What happens is . . . although the memories are terrific, I find I long for those earlier days once again, which can put me in a blue mood. I miss those days, and I wonder if I had taken a different road, how would my life be today.
Although I have no complaints to speak of, and I'm happy with the way the years have gone, the places I've been, the people I've known, my children, my writing career ... I still find myself wondering about those in my past with whom I've lost contact.
And I find myself wondering if it is indeed true that the ones who have meant the most are traveling together from one lifetime to another and will rejoin in the next life in one capacity or another. I like to believe this is true, for that excites me and puts a pleasant perspective on the meaning of it all.
But in the meantime, I'm wondering where Dona is, what she is doing, where she is living. I suppose I could find out when I'm on the Central Coast in March. I did hear she lost her only daughter a few years back, so sad. I wonder where Ben is, whether he stills lives in Malibu or not, whether the fires or floods have destroyed his home, or whether he is even living. And what about J.C. - my childhood sweetheart from 1st Grade. Last I heard he was living in Henderson, NV. He had a huge impact on my young life, my first love. And Jim Alexander, I wonder about him - we had a lengthy affair, met him in San Francisco after seeing him on a trolley. And Errol . . . my dear 'Errol Flynn' . . . he was a teddy bear. I really thought I was in love with him. Another Central Coast fella.
And then there are the mere acquaintances I always enjoyed in Santa Monica and Manhattan Beach. Not as close, but people I cared about. Those years were my best. Fun times and the most to remember. I wonder if Emmett is still alive, one of my mentors.
I'm not mentioning my beloved schoolmates (other than J.C. above) because there are so many. And many of them I am in contact with on Facebook and otherwise. Thank goodness for Facebook by the way. I don't have to wonder, they're right there revealing their lives. And I'm not mentioning my longtime friends, 'cause I know where they are, and I communicate with them from time to time.
But you know, I'm finding it's difficult for me to anticipate what's in the future for me. I love my life, my home, my babies (cats), and my routine and traveling, so I don't mean that. And I love writing and publishing.
I think my problem is I'm split between being almost certain that a man-woman relationship is out of the question for me, and not sure I want that or the possibility of falling in love again. The romantic side of me still believes it can happen, and I've seen it happen to others my age, but the practical side of me says fugetaboutit!
Oh well! The past is over, girl, just write about it!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Thoughts of a Weary Writer
Interesting how a movie can make one think about one’s life and purpose. Seven Years in Tibet is such a movie. One question that is asked of the lead character and his answer hit home with me. When asked why he loved climbing mountains, he answered that it was the absolute simplicity of it, the freedom, the focus … nothing else seems important, the mind is clear, light becomes sharper, sounds richer, one is filled with the presence of life.
I feel the same when I travel in other countries and write about it. When I visit the villages, churches, shops, and pubs, ride through the picturesque countrysides, meet the people and learn about the culture and history of each region … it all gives me a feeling of serenity and fulfillment and peace. And at the same time it’s overwhelming; I am filled to the brim with information and the desire to write about it, which is at times frustrating.
So when I see films such as the one above, or read novels of greatness, I’m even more overwhelmed and frustrated. Can I ever write at that level? How can I capture on paper what I experience and feel in this lifetime? And will it be of any interest to the readers? Will I only bore them with my take on life as it is, through my fictional characters and the plots I weave without giving in to the trends of popular fiction of the day? Can I afford to keep true to myself and write what I know?
I’m sure these are questions serious writers have been asking of themselves for ages, I’m not the only one with doubts and insecurities about my writing, but one thing I do know … if I don’t try, I’ll never know the answers. How does it go … better to have loved and failed than not to have loved at all … or something like that? Maybe it can be reworded to say … better to have written and failed than not to have written at all.
My New Year’s resolution is to write more than ever!
I feel the same when I travel in other countries and write about it. When I visit the villages, churches, shops, and pubs, ride through the picturesque countrysides, meet the people and learn about the culture and history of each region … it all gives me a feeling of serenity and fulfillment and peace. And at the same time it’s overwhelming; I am filled to the brim with information and the desire to write about it, which is at times frustrating.
So when I see films such as the one above, or read novels of greatness, I’m even more overwhelmed and frustrated. Can I ever write at that level? How can I capture on paper what I experience and feel in this lifetime? And will it be of any interest to the readers? Will I only bore them with my take on life as it is, through my fictional characters and the plots I weave without giving in to the trends of popular fiction of the day? Can I afford to keep true to myself and write what I know?
I’m sure these are questions serious writers have been asking of themselves for ages, I’m not the only one with doubts and insecurities about my writing, but one thing I do know … if I don’t try, I’ll never know the answers. How does it go … better to have loved and failed than not to have loved at all … or something like that? Maybe it can be reworded to say … better to have written and failed than not to have written at all.
My New Year’s resolution is to write more than ever!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
HAPPY HOLIDAYS - ME TO YOU
Another year past, another year ahead, one right after the other, non-stop . . . for me it’s been decades of those critters zooming past. Incredible!
2011 in Arizona turned out to be another jam-packed and exciting one for me: many firsts, some repeats.
My family heads up my update list: 1) oldest son relocated to Cedar Rapids for 18 months with his job assignment as construction superintendent, 2) youngest son is finishing up his 24-month assignment this month as construction superintendent in Flagstaff, 3) daughter is taking on the world as a single gal in San Diego while employed at home by an insurance company (she’s taking writing classes, wants to be a writer, imagine that). All three of my dear ones are happy and look forward to even brighter futures. Love it when that happens.
My younger sisters Mary and Martha and their respective husbands Matty and Len (San Joaquin Valley) are alive and kickin’ and enjoying their children and grandchildren. Martha heads the list with the most offspring - six kids and tons of grandkids. But I win with the most great-grand kids, neither Mary nor Martha have any. So I get the prize, whatever it is or is not. Martha and Len were here for Thanksgiving week, it was so much fun having them.
I’m thrilled that this year saw my seventh book published, which is exciting to me, whether anyone reads it or not. Just writing the books is a triumphant feat in itself for me. The feeling of seeing and holding my books in print is indescribable. And here I am at seven with four more in the works. Sales are good, and royalties provide a little pocket money for my travels and antiquing runs. So what more could I want? A best-seller maybe? You betcha!
Also this year, fate brought me a housemate, Trish Alden, who I’ve known for several years (Bakersfield and Cambria), and we’ve been remodeling this Queen Creek dwelling to accommodate the two of us, still more to be done. You know how women are, we always need more space. She’s a godsend in more ways than one, for on January 29th I was returning from my son’s home and collided with another vehicle, totaling mine and having to be air-lifted to the trauma center for repairs (me, not the car, it couldn’t be repaired). So now Trish and her car are temporarily transporting me till I’m brave enough to drive again, if ever. Giving that much thought. No rush.
Much of my excitement and gratification this past year has been due to another near impossible feat, publishing in 2011 and contracting to publish in 2012 another 15 books by my publishing company, R. J. Buckley Publishing. If you aren’t aware of the titles that are offered by RJBP, take a look on the website - www.rjbuckleypublishing.com . All books are available in print on Amazon.com and other Internet bookstores, as well as available to order at your favorite neighborhood booksellers. If you’re after an ebook, all RJBP titles are available on Kindle, Nook, Sony, and other digital ebook formats through www.smashwords.com. So I hope you’ll be able to find some that catch your fancy in addition to mine. A N Y W A Y ... didn’t mean this to become a sales letter. It isn’t, actually . . . well . . . maybe just this one little paragraph . . .
Oh yes . . . made an 18-day trip to England in Oct/Nov, you know how I love England. Trish went with me this time. We spent a week in the seacoast town of Weymouth and the surrounding villages of Dorset, then spent a week in the charming fishing village of Port Isaac, Cornwall, while visiting nearby villages there. The last few days we were in London (had to buy another Harrods’s tote bag for my collection). If you’d like to see photos and read about the trip, try my travel blog: rebeccabuckleytravels.blogspot.com . One of my upcoming novels is set in Port Isaac.
These are just the highlights of 2011, and there is much more I could tell you, but I’m limiting this to one page so as not to take the chance of boring you too much and taking up more of your valuable time. Would love to hear from you ... drop me a note or an email or a post on Facebook or Twitter. You can always check the two websites above and the two below to see what’s happening.
So, you have a fabulous and prosperous Year 2012, okay?
www.rebeccabuckley.com rebeccabuckley.blogspot.com
2011 in Arizona turned out to be another jam-packed and exciting one for me: many firsts, some repeats.
My family heads up my update list: 1) oldest son relocated to Cedar Rapids for 18 months with his job assignment as construction superintendent, 2) youngest son is finishing up his 24-month assignment this month as construction superintendent in Flagstaff, 3) daughter is taking on the world as a single gal in San Diego while employed at home by an insurance company (she’s taking writing classes, wants to be a writer, imagine that). All three of my dear ones are happy and look forward to even brighter futures. Love it when that happens.
My younger sisters Mary and Martha and their respective husbands Matty and Len (San Joaquin Valley) are alive and kickin’ and enjoying their children and grandchildren. Martha heads the list with the most offspring - six kids and tons of grandkids. But I win with the most great-grand kids, neither Mary nor Martha have any. So I get the prize, whatever it is or is not. Martha and Len were here for Thanksgiving week, it was so much fun having them.
I’m thrilled that this year saw my seventh book published, which is exciting to me, whether anyone reads it or not. Just writing the books is a triumphant feat in itself for me. The feeling of seeing and holding my books in print is indescribable. And here I am at seven with four more in the works. Sales are good, and royalties provide a little pocket money for my travels and antiquing runs. So what more could I want? A best-seller maybe? You betcha!
Also this year, fate brought me a housemate, Trish Alden, who I’ve known for several years (Bakersfield and Cambria), and we’ve been remodeling this Queen Creek dwelling to accommodate the two of us, still more to be done. You know how women are, we always need more space. She’s a godsend in more ways than one, for on January 29th I was returning from my son’s home and collided with another vehicle, totaling mine and having to be air-lifted to the trauma center for repairs (me, not the car, it couldn’t be repaired). So now Trish and her car are temporarily transporting me till I’m brave enough to drive again, if ever. Giving that much thought. No rush.
Much of my excitement and gratification this past year has been due to another near impossible feat, publishing in 2011 and contracting to publish in 2012 another 15 books by my publishing company, R. J. Buckley Publishing. If you aren’t aware of the titles that are offered by RJBP, take a look on the website - www.rjbuckleypublishing.com . All books are available in print on Amazon.com and other Internet bookstores, as well as available to order at your favorite neighborhood booksellers. If you’re after an ebook, all RJBP titles are available on Kindle, Nook, Sony, and other digital ebook formats through www.smashwords.com. So I hope you’ll be able to find some that catch your fancy in addition to mine. A N Y W A Y ... didn’t mean this to become a sales letter. It isn’t, actually . . . well . . . maybe just this one little paragraph . . .
Oh yes . . . made an 18-day trip to England in Oct/Nov, you know how I love England. Trish went with me this time. We spent a week in the seacoast town of Weymouth and the surrounding villages of Dorset, then spent a week in the charming fishing village of Port Isaac, Cornwall, while visiting nearby villages there. The last few days we were in London (had to buy another Harrods’s tote bag for my collection). If you’d like to see photos and read about the trip, try my travel blog: rebeccabuckleytravels.blogspot.com . One of my upcoming novels is set in Port Isaac.
These are just the highlights of 2011, and there is much more I could tell you, but I’m limiting this to one page so as not to take the chance of boring you too much and taking up more of your valuable time. Would love to hear from you ... drop me a note or an email or a post on Facebook or Twitter. You can always check the two websites above and the two below to see what’s happening.
So, you have a fabulous and prosperous Year 2012, okay?
www.rebeccabuckley.com rebeccabuckley.blogspot.com
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen . . .
Remember the gospel/spiritual song from way back when ...?
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory hallelujah!
Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down
Oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I'm almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord
And so forth ...
I'm remembering other songs of that era, the old hymns: "What a Friend we have in Jesus", "Amazing Grace", "In the Garden", "Have Thine Own Way", "Abide with me" and many many others ... in fact I have my grandmother's old hymnal from the Methodist Church she attended in the late 1800s, early 1900s. I've inherited the love for those songs, by the way. And as a gospel singer in the '80s, my sister and I sang our heads off all over California ... in fact The Blackwood Brothers (you probably don't know who they were) sang one of my songs in their program, asked for it after they heard us do it. It's called 'God is Listening'. A very personal song I wrote. We grew up with my father singing in a gospel quartet, when we were just tykes in a tiny, steepled church - one front door, one back door. And as teens we were always in the church choirs wherever we went.
I suppose that's what gave me the basis for the love of most music in my lifetime. My mother's love for country music and daddy's love for classical later on, lead me to play the piano and sing at home, and then in public, which led to my producing music concerts and festivals. It all went hand and hand.
Anyway ... I'm only mentioning this because a conversation tonight reminded of my upbringing, where I came from, and where I went after that, the hard times, the good times, the tragedy, the sorrow, and also the spectacular life I've had in spite of it all. Of course I'll write about it in my autobio one day, but for now I just want to mention a few things and tell you why.
Let's start with the 'why'. I believe I've gone through what I have in the decades I've spent on this earth, and have been subjected to the people, things, places and events (good and bad), for several reasons. Here are three. One, that I may be able to empathize with others, to be able to understand what others feel, what makes them tick, what makes them cry, and so forth, and maybe just maybe I might possibly assist them somehow because of my own experience. Two, that I may have another chance to discover more about myself on this short journey through life, my purpose, in preparation for the next one. Three, that I may experience life's truths and drama to include in my own writing, and thereby bring knowledge, joy and enlightenment to others.
Yes, I'm a contemporary romantic suspense writer, but I don't write lightly. I write about truths and real life, the bad as well as the good. If you've read my work, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't then you might figure it's just another romance novel for women only. Nope, it isn't. My novels have a purposeful and deliberate pouring out of the soul and spirit under the guise of romantic suspense, but they're entertaining as well as enlightening.
What I'm getting at here, is that I draw from my own life and the life of others around me when I'm writing a book or short story. The plot and story are from imagination, but the motivation, emotions and drama are real. Without the years of that emotion and drama in my own life, I doubt that I would be able to write the novels I do at all. It just wouldn't be there to draw from, no depth at all.
Now, although I write contemporary romantic suspense, I read other genres. My favorite are historical thrillers and suspense. I read military thrillers, mysteries, detective mysteries, and other such. I don't care for horror, but I do read Stephen King and Dean Koontz (a cross between thrillers and horror at times), love them both. And in my publishing arena I read many books of different genres that are submitted to me for publishing.
I've edited novels and non-fiction, and tons of short stories for the past fifteen years. So my experience might be a bit more than the novice or that of an author, but less than the old-timer editors, and the major publishing house editors. I'm just a beginner as an independent publisher. But I do my homework.
Now I was going to talk about some of the mishaps and tragedies in my life, and the highlights for a reason ... but I've run out of steam for now. I'll save that for another time. You'll just have to wonder a little longer what the hell I'm getting at ... lol lol lol In the meantime I'll try and figure that out.
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory hallelujah!
Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down
Oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I'm almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord
And so forth ...
I'm remembering other songs of that era, the old hymns: "What a Friend we have in Jesus", "Amazing Grace", "In the Garden", "Have Thine Own Way", "Abide with me" and many many others ... in fact I have my grandmother's old hymnal from the Methodist Church she attended in the late 1800s, early 1900s. I've inherited the love for those songs, by the way. And as a gospel singer in the '80s, my sister and I sang our heads off all over California ... in fact The Blackwood Brothers (you probably don't know who they were) sang one of my songs in their program, asked for it after they heard us do it. It's called 'God is Listening'. A very personal song I wrote. We grew up with my father singing in a gospel quartet, when we were just tykes in a tiny, steepled church - one front door, one back door. And as teens we were always in the church choirs wherever we went.
I suppose that's what gave me the basis for the love of most music in my lifetime. My mother's love for country music and daddy's love for classical later on, lead me to play the piano and sing at home, and then in public, which led to my producing music concerts and festivals. It all went hand and hand.
Anyway ... I'm only mentioning this because a conversation tonight reminded of my upbringing, where I came from, and where I went after that, the hard times, the good times, the tragedy, the sorrow, and also the spectacular life I've had in spite of it all. Of course I'll write about it in my autobio one day, but for now I just want to mention a few things and tell you why.
Let's start with the 'why'. I believe I've gone through what I have in the decades I've spent on this earth, and have been subjected to the people, things, places and events (good and bad), for several reasons. Here are three. One, that I may be able to empathize with others, to be able to understand what others feel, what makes them tick, what makes them cry, and so forth, and maybe just maybe I might possibly assist them somehow because of my own experience. Two, that I may have another chance to discover more about myself on this short journey through life, my purpose, in preparation for the next one. Three, that I may experience life's truths and drama to include in my own writing, and thereby bring knowledge, joy and enlightenment to others.
Yes, I'm a contemporary romantic suspense writer, but I don't write lightly. I write about truths and real life, the bad as well as the good. If you've read my work, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't then you might figure it's just another romance novel for women only. Nope, it isn't. My novels have a purposeful and deliberate pouring out of the soul and spirit under the guise of romantic suspense, but they're entertaining as well as enlightening.
What I'm getting at here, is that I draw from my own life and the life of others around me when I'm writing a book or short story. The plot and story are from imagination, but the motivation, emotions and drama are real. Without the years of that emotion and drama in my own life, I doubt that I would be able to write the novels I do at all. It just wouldn't be there to draw from, no depth at all.
Now, although I write contemporary romantic suspense, I read other genres. My favorite are historical thrillers and suspense. I read military thrillers, mysteries, detective mysteries, and other such. I don't care for horror, but I do read Stephen King and Dean Koontz (a cross between thrillers and horror at times), love them both. And in my publishing arena I read many books of different genres that are submitted to me for publishing.
I've edited novels and non-fiction, and tons of short stories for the past fifteen years. So my experience might be a bit more than the novice or that of an author, but less than the old-timer editors, and the major publishing house editors. I'm just a beginner as an independent publisher. But I do my homework.
Now I was going to talk about some of the mishaps and tragedies in my life, and the highlights for a reason ... but I've run out of steam for now. I'll save that for another time. You'll just have to wonder a little longer what the hell I'm getting at ... lol lol lol In the meantime I'll try and figure that out.
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