Nobody knows the trouble I've seen . . .

Remember the gospel/spiritual song from way back when ...?

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Nobody knows my sorrow
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
Glory hallelujah!

Sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down
Oh, yes, Lord
Sometimes I'm almost to the ground
Oh, yes, Lord

And so forth ...


I'm remembering other songs of that era, the old hymns: "What a Friend we have in Jesus", "Amazing Grace", "In the Garden", "Have Thine Own Way", "Abide with me" and many many others ... in fact I have my grandmother's old hymnal from the Methodist Church she attended in the late 1800s, early 1900s. I've inherited the love for those songs, by the way. And as a gospel singer in the '80s, my sister and I sang our heads off all over California ... in fact The Blackwood Brothers (you probably don't know who they were) sang one of my songs in their program, asked for it after they heard us do it. It's called 'God is Listening'. A very personal song I wrote. We grew up with my father singing in a gospel quartet, when we were just tykes in a tiny, steepled church - one front door, one back door. And as teens we were always in the church choirs wherever we went.

I suppose that's what gave me the basis for the love of most music in my lifetime. My mother's love for country music and daddy's love for classical later on, lead me to play the piano and sing at home, and then in public, which led to my producing music concerts and festivals. It all went hand and hand.

Anyway ... I'm only mentioning this because a conversation tonight reminded of my upbringing, where I came from, and where I went after that, the hard times, the good times, the tragedy, the sorrow, and also the spectacular life I've had in spite of it all. Of course I'll write about it in my autobio one day, but for now I just want to mention a few things and tell you why.

Let's start with the 'why'. I believe I've gone through what I have in the decades I've spent on this earth, and have been subjected to the people, things, places and events (good and bad), for several reasons. Here are three. One, that I may be able to empathize with others, to be able to understand what others feel, what makes them tick, what makes them cry, and so forth, and maybe just maybe I might possibly assist them somehow because of my own experience. Two, that I may have another chance to discover more about myself on this short journey through life, my purpose, in preparation for the next one. Three, that I may experience life's truths and drama to include in my own writing, and thereby bring knowledge, joy and enlightenment to others.

Yes, I'm a contemporary romantic suspense writer, but I don't write lightly. I write about truths and real life, the bad as well as the good. If you've read my work, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't then you might figure it's just another romance novel for women only. Nope, it isn't. My novels have a purposeful and deliberate pouring out of the soul and spirit under the guise of romantic suspense, but they're entertaining as well as enlightening.

What I'm getting at here, is that I draw from my own life and the life of others around me when I'm writing a book or short story. The plot and story are from imagination, but the motivation, emotions and drama are real. Without the years of that emotion and drama in my own life, I doubt that I would be able to write the novels I do at all. It just wouldn't be there to draw from, no depth at all.

Now, although I write contemporary romantic suspense, I read other genres. My favorite are historical thrillers and suspense. I read military thrillers, mysteries, detective mysteries, and other such. I don't care for horror, but I do read Stephen King and Dean Koontz (a cross between thrillers and horror at times), love them both. And in my publishing arena I read many books of different genres that are submitted to me for publishing.

I've edited novels and non-fiction, and tons of short stories for the past fifteen years. So my experience might be a bit more than the novice or that of an author, but less than the old-timer editors, and the major publishing house editors. I'm just a beginner as an independent publisher. But I do my homework.

Now I was going to talk about some of the mishaps and tragedies in my life, and the highlights for a reason ... but I've run out of steam for now. I'll save that for another time. You'll just have to wonder a little longer what the hell I'm getting at ... lol lol lol In the meantime I'll try and figure that out.