I read a post on Facebook today that had such merit to it, I feel like adding something of my own.
We know we're going in the right direction, are learning how to move forward successfully on our own path of enlightenment, when we are able to repel the lashing actions and retorts of others - sometimes reactive, sometimes blatant. It's taken me many years to learn how to within a few minutes recover from such onslaughts or unkindness. And usually the other person doesn't realize the impact of their attack, however minor or deliberate or not.
This helps me when being confronted by them . . . take a good look at the why and when and you can usually figure out the reason for their onslaught. And it's usually not a reaction to what you've done or said, but a reaction to something in their own psyche, something they've not learned to deal with, something going back to another time that doesn't have anything to do with you. In almost every case this is true.
I remember how I used to let my feelings get hurt at every turn. But now, in the very few times it gets close to happening, maybe once or twice a year, I apply the above to the situation. And like I said, within minutes I'm able to move on as if it never happened. No more am I bogged down with someone else's emotional baggage.
Certainly something new can be learned in almost every human exchange, however, so I do record it objectively. Human nature is a complex, frustrating, emotional entity. Observing how it works in ourselves and others can be liberating.
Writers, take heed . . . it's also homework for developing characters in our stories. The more we study ourselves and others, the more we have to write about. My storehouse containing decades of observations is absolutely full to the brim.